And Everything In Between
by CitiKitti
Summary: Sirius is not the centre of Remus' world. Sirius is Not Pleased. Contains slash. In 3 parts, rated M overall, though 1 & 3 are actually milder than that.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Extremely belated fic for brak4werewolves. Thanks muchly to kellygreen for the beta!

**And Everything In Between**

**Part 1/3**

Remus Lupin was a creature of habit.

Every evening, after classes were done and supper consumed, after homework was finished and checked and carefully set aside, he could nearly always be found curled up comfortably in one of the squashy common room armchairs, nose firmly planted in a book and seemingly oblivious to anything outside of it. And if he wasn't there, then he was curled up in bed, asleep.

Sirius Black was also a creature of habit, though not obviously so. He, too, could be found spending his evenings in the Gryffindor common room, playing a startlingly violent version of wizard chess, or plotting mischief, or chatting up attractive specimens of the female persuasion. But underneath it all, underneath the chess and the chatting and the plotting, he would watch Remus. Without being remotely obvious about it, Sirius had gleaned that Remus thought his fringe was too long (he was always pushing it impatiently out of his eyes), and that the reason the ends of Remus' quills were always ragged was because he absently chewed on them when lost in thought. He watched each evening for the stifled yawns that signaled that Remus was about to head up to bed, for those yawns meant Sirius would soon follow.

So when, one evening, Remus finished up his homework and put away his quills and slipped out of the common room without so much as a by-your-leave, Sirius wasn't far behind.

He followed Remus, ducking behind various corners and statues and suits of armor whenever the other boy stopped to look behind him. Every so often Remus would pause, head cocked to one side as if listening. Sirius hid in whatever darkened recesses he could find, holding his breath, while Remus glanced thoughtfully at the seemingly empty corridor.

"Sirius?" Remus asked, frowning.

The corridor remained silent, and Remus moved on.

Sirius wasn't at all surprised to find himself at the doors to the Hogwarts library a short while later. It was, of course, well known as one of Remus' favourite haunts - right after Honeydukes' Sweetshop.

He paused, one hand lightly resting atop the heavy door handles. Suppose Remus should see him? Sirius chewed anxiously on his bottom lip while he considered this. _A book! I'm looking for a book! Of course!_ It was a library. But… a book? Sirius? Would Remus believe that?

_I can tell him I'm looking for some new and interesting hex to use on Snivellus,_ he decided, and firmly pushed open the library doors.

No Remus.

Sirius moved slowly through the library, trying very hard to look inconspicuous. _Who has time to read all these?_ he wondered. Suddenly he spotted Remus sitting quietly at a small table wedged into a corner. Sirius quickly grabbed a book at random, glancing at it just long enough to see the word _hex_ in the title, and furtively ducked into the next aisle. At the far end of the aisle was a fat armchair which provided him with a clear view of Remus. _Well,_ Sirius realized, squinting between the shelves of books, _a nearly clear view._

Unsurprisingly, Remus was reading.

_He could have done that in the common room,_ Sirius thought peevishly. But, he realised, his breath catching slightly, here Remus was sitting by a lamp, the golden glow of which had turned the ends of Remus' hair to honeyed fire spilling over the edges of his collar. Here, Sirius could stare directly at Remus all he wanted, stare at him practically face-on and no one would be the wiser.

_You could just tell Remus you fancy him_, said a very small voice inside Sirius' head.

Sirius ignored the voice. He wasn't about to tell Remus anything of the sort. Remus was, after all, one of his closest friends, and he wasn't about to risk that friendship over some daft hormonal urge.

Except, he realised glumly, watching Remus turn pages with one slender hand, it wasn't just hormones. He didn't know when it had happened, but Sirius had fallen for the other boy, and fallen hard.

_Right,_ he decided. _I'm going to go over and talk to him. We're mates; nothing weird about just talking to him. I talk to him all the bloody time._ Sirius stood up.

And then sat down again, mouth agape. Someone _else_ had had the audacity to talk to Remus first, and Remus appeared to be quite pleased about it.

Leaving the book he'd grabbed in the chair, Sirius slunk out of the library and back to the dorm.

It was a Ravenclaw, Sirius found out later, by the name of Gareth Jones.

"Hestia's brother," Lily said. "Why d'you want to know?"

"Just wondering," Sirius said evasively. "Remus spends a lot of time with him, doesn't he?"

Lily shrugged. "So? He can spend time with who he wants to, can't he? I mean, I constantly question his taste in friends, but he isn't about to abandon you or James or Peter."

"I wasn't worried," Sirius scoffed, and tried to believe it.

Not quite a week later, Sirius happened to see Remus and the Ravenclaw - Sirius flatly refused to call the other boy by name - stepping into the prefects' bathroom together. He hadn't been following Remus; no one could really call it that. He'd just happened to be in the same corridor. Really. And should anyone be curious as to why he was constantly ducking behind statues and into alcoves, Sirius would have scoffed and haughtily explained that he was plotting a prank that involved surveillance of the prefects' loo. Of course, no one _would_ ask what Sirius was up to; they knew better.

Sirius hated the Ravenclaw. He hated him more than Snape (if that was indeed possible), more than all the slimy Slytherins put together. He hated the Ravenclaw's dark wavy hair, and his dancing cobalt eyes - not that he'd noticed such things, oh no! He hated the throaty laugh and the broad shoulders and the perfectly manicured fingernails. Sirius glanced ruefully down at his own hands, the pads of his fingers calloused from countless hours at Quidditch, the nails ragged and bitten.

The bathroom door opened. Sirius blinked. For a moment there… but no. It couldn't be. Had they been holding hands?

Sirius ducked out from behind the pillar, wincing as his cramped knees cracked audibly. "Ah, Remus!" he said brightly. "There you are!"

"What are you _doing?_" Remus hissed as Sirius bodily dragged him down the hallway. He shook Sirius off impatiently, glaring at him.

"What am I doing?" Sirius asked, actually astonished. "What are you doing with that… that… that _Ravenclaw?_"

Remus regarded him coolly. "I'd say that's my business, Sirius."

"All you do these days is hang around with him!" Sirius continued. "No one sees you! _I_ don't see you!"

"You see plenty of me," Remus retorted. "I suppose you thought I hadn't noticed you skulking around? You're not nearly as covert as you'd like to think, you know." He glanced back down the corridor but the Ravenclaw was long gone. "This discussion is over, Sirius."

"Wait," Sirius pleaded, clutching at Remus' elbow. "How can you be…? Are you… You and him… "Sirius' words tumbled over each other as he fought to say everything at once.

"His name's Gareth," Remus said, deftly wriggling out of Sirius' grip. "Hestia Jones' brother."

"I know his sodding name!" Sirius yelled, waving his arms emphatically. "I just can't _say_ it! Makes me sound like a fairy, like I've got a bloody lisp!"

Remus' eyes widened. "Oh, Merlin," he whispered, and quickly choked back a threatening giggle. "You're _jealous_."

"I'm not bloody jealous," snapped Sirius, even as he realised with sinking dismay that he might indeed be jealous, and very much so.

"My, my," Remus chuckled. "This hardly bodes well for your reputation as stalwart ladies' man."

"_I am not jealous!_" Sirius roared. "It's just that you're wasting yourself! He doesn't know anything important about you, does he? You _know_ what I mean," he added, and Remus flinched.

"No," Remus said quietly. "I haven't told him that I'm... No. I haven't told him that."

Sirius plunged on. "And you won't. You _can't._ He'd never stand by you; you know it. You _do,_" he insisted, hating the way Remus' face darkened and fell at that, and hating more that he'd caused that look. Sirius sighed, softening his voice. "You don't need him anyway. You need to find someone who isn't going to care about… about your furry little problem. You need someone who's going to like you, warts and all. You need…"

"Someone like you?" Remus asked, one eyebrow arched questioningly.

Sirius shut up.

"And I haven't got warts," Remus added.

"It's just a saying," Sirius muttered sullenly. "I have to go … ah… somewhere… now."

"You do that," Remus said levelly, and turned on his heel and walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2/3 -- rated M**

Sirius skidded to a halt just out of reach of the Whomping Willow, heart pounding after his furious run. He glanced up at the rapidly darkening sky; good – the moon hadn't yet risen. In a breath he transformed. The huge black dog that was his Animagus form immediately flattened to the ground, deftly scrambling past the whipsawing branches of the Willow, and hurtling himself headlong into the tight passage hidden beneath the tree.

He raced along underground, mindless of rocks and roots that miraculously didn't trip him. In no time – so it seemed – he'd reached the trapdoor to the Shrieking Shack and transformed back so his human hands could work the catch. For a heart-stopping moment Sirius' hands scrabbled uselessly at the catch before he remembered that he had fingers instead of paws. Finally he wrested the trapdoor open and flung himself through it, swiftly locking it again from the inside.

Behind him, Remus hoarsely said, "Don't lock it yet. The others…"

"… Aren't coming," Sirius finished brusquely. "Pete's got tutoring, and James… Well…"

"Is in detention?" Remus asked.

"Yeah." Sirius nodded, finally taking a decent look at Remus. He was perched on the side of the bed, fingers gripping the edge of the mattress hard enough to turn his knuckles white. _Nearly didn't make it in time_, Sirius thought. _Almost time for his Change_.

Remus pushed his fringe back out of his eyes with one visibly trembling hand. "Who's Peter tutoring?" he asked, brow furrowed. Sirius frowned at the catch in Remus' voice.

"Not tutoring," Sirius explained. "_Being_ tutored. By McGonagall. In Transformation, of all things." They both sniggered.

Suddenly Remus' back arched at an impossible angle, a low whine escaping his throat. "Change, now," he gasped at Sirius, who immediately did just that.

The moon had risen.

When the long, awful night was over and the moon had finally set, Padfoot huddled whining in a corner, helpless as the werewolf in Remus receded, leaving a barely-conscious boy in its place. The moment the Change was complete, Padfoot slunk over to the boy (_Moony_, he remembered, _packmate_), nudging him until Remus fell back onto the bed. Padfoot clambered up beside the boy, and they curled up to sleep.

By the time Sirius awoke, the sun was spilling light through the many cracks in the Shack's boarded-up windows.

_Where-? _He thought, disoriented. Propping himself up on one elbow, he glanced around the disheveled room, gradually recognizing the Shack and the bed he was in, with Remus draped drowsily across him.

"Morning," Remus yawned, opening one sleepy eye. He rolled slightly more onto Sirius, one thin arm snuggled cozily across Sirius' bare chest, and one leg hooked over Sirius' knee.

"Morning," mumbled Sirius, trying to extricate himself from the tangle of Remus' limbs. Remus just snuggled closer.

"Moony," Sirius whispered. He waited. Nothing. He prodded Remus' arm with one finger. "_Moony_," he said again, slightly louder.

Grudgingly Remus opened his eyes. "What?"

"I have to go. Pomfrey'll be here soon."

"No. Want you."

"So," Sirius continued, "I have to get back to the castle and – hang on, what?"

Remus' eyes drooped closed again as he sleepily murmured, "She comes later now. Told her the lie-in helps me recover. Have a lie-in with me, Sirius."

With a start, Sirius realised that Remus' hips had begun rocking almost imperceptibly, the maddeningly slow rhythm rubbing Remus' rapidly hardening cock against Sirius' hip. And, Sirius noted with some dismay, Remus' cock wasn't the only one enjoying the sensations. _Bloody post-moon horny werewolves_, he thought. _Too bad his snotty little Ravenclaw isn't here. _

"Get off me!" Sirius hissed, half-heartedly pushing Remus away from him. But Remus was deceptively strong, and before Sirius quite understood how it had happened, Remus was astride him, wide awake now, his hands pinning Sirius' wrists to the stained mattress.

"I don't think so," Remus said. Deliberately he rocked against Sirius, his eyes glittering with feverish intent as Sirius squirmed helplessly beneath him.

"'M not your Ravenclaw," Sirius gasped.

Remus leaned down til the pair were nose to nose. "I know you're not," he breathed, and then his mouth was on Sirius', languorous but determined.

"Don't… Mmph… Please… I…" Sirius muttered as Remus' tongue laved a path along his jaw.

Remus drew back so sharply it was as though he'd been slapped. "Don't what?" he asked, eyes narrowed. "Don't touch me? Or…" He drew one hand down to cup Sirius' prick where it was straining against the confines of his trousers. "Or don't stop?"

Sirius whimpered, hips bucking up against Remus' grasp. "Don't _stop_," he begged, and groaned as Remus swiftly unbuttoned and discarded both their trousers. In a flash Remus was back astride him, their cocks rubbing fiercely against each other as they kissed.

"Touch me," Remus commanded, and Sirius eagerly reached down between them. Remus' cock was slippery with pre-come; Sirius brought his fingertips to his mouth for a brief taste, then dipped back down to stroke, to pull, to mirror every action that Remus was doing to him.

"Too bad your Ravenclaw is missing out," Sirius said, and immediately regretted the words as Remus' eyes flashed dangerously at him.

"Sirius," Remus rasped, bending down to nip warningly at Sirius' right nipple, "this is _not_ a good time to discuss him." He bit at the nipple again, and with a shout Sirius came, spilling messily over Remus' relentlessly stroking hand.

"My turn," Remus gasped, thrusting hard into Sirius' fist as his orgasm hit. He collapsed atop Sirius, chest heaving for breath. "I meant that," Remus added after a few moments. "Don't mention Gareth when we're…don't throw him in my face like that."

Sirius struggled out from beneath Remus, picking up his wand from the pile of their discarded clothes. "_Scourgify,_" he muttered, cleansing the stickiness from them both. He glanced over his shoulder at Remus. "If I don't mention him, will he go away?"

"Sod off."

"Nice, Moony," Sirius grumbled. "Glad to be of service. Again."

Remus narrowed his eyes. "I beg your pardon?"

"Glad I could be so convenient for you," Sirius spat, as he pulled on his clothes. "As Prongs would've been if he'd been here. Because we know, we _know_ how it is for you the morning after. No, shut it!" he added as Remus opened his mouth to protest. "You think your precious Ravenclaw would do this for you? You think he's going to take you and your Change and everything that goes with it? Or is he going to just want the morning after and hate the wolf?"

"_Be quiet!_" Remus yelled. "He… I… He said…"

"What?" Sirius snapped. "He said that he loves you?"

Remus very quickly shut his mouth.

"Oh," said Sirius in a very small voice.

Remus said nothing.

"Maybe I don't want to be a convenience anymore," Sirius added.

"Padfoot…" Remus began.

Sirius shook his head, mussed black hair falling over his eyes. "Don't," he warned, fumbling at the trapdoor locks. "Don't tell me. Save it for your Ravenclaw. I have to go."


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3/3 -- rated PG13

"I'm going to tell him," Remus declared abruptly at breakfast a week later.

James nodded enthusiastically. "Good," he mumbled around a mouthful of heavily buttered toast. "'Bout time. Dunno why y'haven't."

Sirius said nothing, but stabbed angrily at his eggs with his fork. Stupid eggs. Stupid fork. Stupid sodding Ravenclaw. Remus hadn't spoken to him in a week, not a word since the last full moon when Sirius had stormed off in a snit. While James and Peter attributed his foul mood to his "just being Padfoot," Remus had ignored him altogether.

"Pads," asked James, "reckon we should keep an eye on them with the Cloak?"

Sirius grunted noncommittally.

"I hardly need a babysitter," Remus put in.

James shrugged. "Could get volatile, and what if it does?"

"What if it does?" Remus asked coolly. "I'm not an idiot, you know. I'll be fine. What did you think I did before you lot came around?"

"Tell who what?" Peter asked belatedly. Sirius rolled his eyes while James whispered in Peter's ear. "Oh," he added, flushing slightly pink. "That. When?"

"Today," Remus decided.

It was _boring_, being alone, and it was quite possibly the most boring afternoon that Sirius had ever experienced. He threw himself face down on the ground beside a small copse of stunted trees at the edge of the Black Lake, huffing angrily. It wasn't fair that James and Peter had buggered off to Hogsmeade without inviting him along; it wasn't fair that Remus preferred the company of some gormless Ravenclaw (_with admittedly lovely eyes_, his mind insisted).

Looking down, he caught sight of his reflection scowling at him from the dark water. _Just as well_, he thought angrily. _You're not fit company anyway. And you look like a troll when you sulk._

Sirius rolled onto his back, slightly away from the water's edge, squinting against the bright spring sun. He wondered briefly if Remus had told the Ravenclaw his big secret. _Stupid plonker probably knows a cure for lycanthropy_, he thought miserably. _Probably an animagus too. They'll go flouncing off into the moonlight together, and I'll be stuck alone in the Shack on full moon nights._

But it wasn't so much the full moon nights that rose to his mind, but the mornings after – mornings when the wolf in Remus manifested itself in rampant hormonal urges, and a desperate yearning for its packmates. And Sirius didn't want to think of a future without those mornings.

_He was right_, a small voice inside him whispered. _You __**are**__ jealous._

"Am not," Sirius muttered, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Am _not_."

_You __**are**_, the voice insisted. _Because you want him for yourself. Because…_

"Because I love him," Sirius finished aloud, sitting up so sharply that he immediately tumbled backward into the lake.

Ignoring the pointing and giggling from a group of Third Year girls, Sirius stomped, dripping wet, through the Gryffindor common room and up towards the Sixth Year dorms. At least there he'd be able to sulk in peace – after he found dry clothes, of course. And a shower, he mused as he crossed the dorm. Maybe a lovely hot shower…

Halfway across the room he paused, brow furrowed. All the bedcurtains hung open and askance, save one set. _So Remus closed them_, Sirius told himself. He continued toward his own bed, stripping off his sodden clothes along the way.

"You were right," said Remus from behind the closed curtains.

Sirius whirled around, heart leaping. He was suddenly, acutely aware that he was rather naked. "You… you startled me," Sirius said, hurriedly pulling on a dry pair of trousers.

"Apparently I did," Remus replied. "Sorry."

"That's alright, really," Sirius said hastily. "I didn't know you were… I'll go; I don't want to interrupt… anything."

"Interrupt what?" Remus asked with a quiet sniff. He pulled the curtains partly aside and added flatly, "You were right about Gareth."

_Right about…? Oh…_ Sirius sat gingerly next to Remus on the bed, trying not to notice either Remus' bloodshot eyes or the way his shirt had pulled out of his trousers, exposing a flat handsbreadth of pale skin.

"I'm really sorry," Sirius offered, and meant it. "What happened?"

Remus toyed with the edge of the blanket. "You know we went to Hogsmeade too, along with James and Peter, right? So they went off to Zonko's, and Gareth and I decided to stop in at the Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer. Well, a bunch of his mates were in there. Sit down with us, they said. So, we did."

Sirius nodded impatiently. "And?"

"Turned out they'd been having some discussion about that bit that was in last week's Prophet," Remus continued. "The werewolf sighting down in Brighton, you remember? And Gareth said… he said…"

"Don't," Sirius said harshly. "Remus, you don't have to…"

"He said there wasn't any use having laws to govern them. That the Ministry should just exterminate them all."

Sirius made a harsh sound in his throat. "Oh, Moony," he said sorrowfully. "I really _am_ sorry."

"And then," Remus said, as though Sirius wasn't even there, "he asked whether I agreed with him. And I said I never wanted to see him again, socially or otherwise. And then I came back here. The end."

They were quiet for a moment. Sirius didn't think there was much he _could_ say after Remus' confession, except –

"I'll hex him!" Sirius burst out. "He won't be able to walk properly for months after I'm done with him!"

Remus shook his head. "Sirius, don't bother. He's not worth the trouble."

"No, really, I want to!"

"Sirius, _no._"

"Moony, how 'bout I just…"

"_Shut it, Padfoot!_"

And Sirius did shut up briefly, his mouth closing so fast that he nearly bit his tongue.

"You were right too," he said after a moment. "About me being jealous, I mean."

Remus said nothing.

"I didn't know myself," Sirius added. "How could I?"

"_I_ knew," Remus muttered.

Sirius ran one hand through his hair. "So… What now? Can we… be us?"

"Maybe I don't want you," Remus said, leaning back into the pillows and closing his eyes. "Did you ever think of that? You're arrogant, aggravating, and you snore like a dying hippogriff."

"How d'you know what a dying hippogriff sounds like?"

Remus cracked open one eye. "How do I – _what?_ That's not the point!"

"What _is_ the point then?" Sirius shot back.

"The point is," Remus snapped, sitting upright again and glaring at Sirius, "that you're that bloody arrogant that you just assume that I want to be with you! How pigheaded can you _be_, Padfoot? I ask you!"

"Oh," Sirius said, abashed. "You don't, then. Want me, that is."

"I didn't _say_ that!" Remus roared.

Sirius furrowed his brow. "Well, actually…"

"As a matter of fact, I _do_ want you! Very much, in fact! But it would be bloody nice to be _asked!_"

Sirius chewed thoughtfully on his bottom lip. "Let me _ask_ you something, then," he said. "Do you know what I want?"

Remus shook his head. "A new racing broom?"

"Prat," Sirius said fondly. "Besides that."

"No, then, but I know you're dying to tell me."

Sirius leaned forward until his lips brushed up against Remus' mouth. "I _like_ those mornings after the full moons," he confessed. "And I like spending the full moon with you. And I want that. And I want every day in between. With you. That's what I'm asking for."

"Don't ask for much, do you?" Remus said. "Know what _I _want?"

"What?"

"Nothing, now," Remus grinned, just before covering Sirius' mouth with his own. "I've got it."


End file.
